Random musings from the front line (well, more like the support trench, or perhaps the castle 10 miles away, supping Chateau Lafite with the General Staff) in the battle for curiosity, inertia, grammar and a Dachshund called Colin.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

The Bestest Weirdest Song EVER!

There is a little known album track on Pink Floyd's 1969 album Ummagumma called Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving With a Pict. Written by Roger Waters, it is 5 minutes and 1 second of the strangest "music" ever. It makes every song by Bonzo Dog, or John Otway, seem like middle of the road musical pop tunes. And I love it. One Pink Floyd tribute band named themselves after it, and I used to play it to psych myself up before a rugby game (school 5th XV, Vice Captain) - although this might explain our season's statistics in the 1993/4 yearbook:

School 5XV. P3 W0 D0 L3 F7 A182

But anyway, I digress. The lyrics for this masterpiece are:

Aye an' a bit of Mackeral settler rack and ruin
ran it doon by the haim, 'ma place
well I slapped me and I slapped it doon in the side
and I cried, cried, cried.

The fear a fallen down taken never back the raize and then Craig Marion,
get out wi' ye Claymore out mi pocket a' ran doon, doon the middin stain
picking the fiery horde that was fallen around ma feet.
Never he cried, never shall it ye get me alive
ye rotten hound of the burnie crew. Well I snatched fer the blade O my
Claymore cut and thrust and I fell doon before him round his feet.

..and the wind cried back.

You can read a review of the album, in Greek, here. Or buy it from Amazon in the USA here. It is lovingly described by one fan (on the Amazon UK website) as "Hours of onanistic drivel for those who have lost the will to live. Featuring LSD on guitar and dope(s) on everything else. Dreadful. Imagine introducing the only person on Earth who hasn't heard of Floyd to them by this - makes me shudder."

So. How can you resist listening to the entire album straight away? At least go and buy this superb track from iTunes (only 78p), or a similar site, and rest assured in the knowledge that some of the animal noises in the background are actually distorted recordings of Roger Waters saying "where's my fucking guitar?". Genius. Och aye the noo.....

6 Rants & Replies:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've got a bike
You can ride it if you like
It's got a basket, a bell that rings and things to make it look good
I'd give it to you if I could
But I borrowed it.....

Thanks for the memories

6:25 pm, October 16, 2005

Blogger Merkin said...

You're very welcome, Mr Anonymous! Or are you Mrs?

"You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world.
I'll give you anything, everything, if you want things"

9:00 pm, October 16, 2005

Blogger MIKE DA HAT said...

What we need in our lives is more Bonzos and More Otway.

2:34 pm, October 17, 2005

Blogger Mark Gamon said...

If I remember correctly, this is also the album with the immortal line 'silence in the studio' just before it all gets REALLY LOUD.

Or was that on Saucerful of Secrets?

Whatever. A couple of years later they released Dark Side of the Moon and suddenly everything got all SERIOUS. For which read 'cack'.

1:09 pm, October 18, 2005

Blogger Wyndham said...

Your tower's not looking too clever.


1:16 pm, October 18, 2005

Blogger Merkin said...

Mike - I agree. Viv Stanshall would never had made it on Pop Idol, but was a musical genius. My favourite track has to be "The Intro and the Outro"... bloody brilliant!

Mark - no idea! I only have this one track, as Ummagumma is (by all accounts) one of the worst albums ever, by any artist. Unless you count Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music". Or the Hear'say album.

Wyndham. That's HILARIOUS! I actually saw that happen today, as I was entering harbour in my mighty vessel, but until your link I assumed the abseilers were part of the opening celebrations. I hope the rescuers waved their council tax bills at the council types trapped therein. Tee hee!

5:00 pm, October 18, 2005


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