Random musings from the front line (well, more like the support trench, or perhaps the castle 10 miles away, supping Chateau Lafite with the General Staff) in the battle for curiosity, inertia, grammar and a Dachshund called Colin.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

BIRD FLU - DANGER DANGER (not)

From: Lee Potter[mailto:lee.potter3@fco.gov.uk]
To: Press Release Department
Sent: 10 January 2006 11:48

Subject: Foreign Office Travel Warning - Bird Flu

BIRD FLU - MESSAGE TO ALL TRAVELLERS

With the outbreak of Bird Flu in Turkey, and the usual hysterical headlines in the Daily Mail, the Foreign Office has today issued the following Travel Advisory Notice:

As well as the whole of Turkey, the following specific places are now considered to be Medium Risk areas of Bird Flu, according to The Worldwide Epidemiological Etymological Taskforce (TWEET):

  • Gander (Newfoundland, Canada)
  • Partridge (Kansas, USA)
  • Goose Green (Falklands)
  • Robin (Manitoba, Canada)
  • Starlington (Alabama, USA)
  • Crowborough (Berkshire, UK)
  • Pigeon Street (CITV)
  • Sparrow Bush (NY, USA)
  • Northern Dove (Papua New Guinea)
  • Ravensdale (Ireland)
  • Gull Bay (Ontario, Canada)
  • Blackbird Landing (Delaware, USA)
  • Finchley, (KwaZulu Natal, South Africa)
  • Peacock Siding (Queensland, Australia)

and…

  • Great Tit (Jordan)

Travellers are advised to avoid these areas if at all possible, but if absolutely necessary to visit, then possession of the 2003 Daily Mail “SARS – It Will Kill Us All” Handy Travel Kit (one handkerchief, two “Baby Wet Ones” and a small prophylactic) should provide 100% protection.

Yours

pp Lee Potter

A L Armist-Nonsense CMG LVO

Deputy Permanent Under Secretary
Directorate of Scaremongering and Reaction
Foreign & Commonwealth Office

7 Rants & Replies:

Blogger Wyndham said...

Very good Merkin!

5:34 pm, January 10, 2006

 
Blogger Merkin said...

Someone just pointed out to me that I forgot the most blindingly obvious of them all - The Canaries.

Must try harder.

6:21 pm, January 10, 2006

 
Blogger garfer said...

They should have included Sesame Street. Those Big Birds are lethal.

10:39 pm, January 10, 2006

 
Blogger Merkin said...

Apparently there's a place near Gloucester called Birdlip as well. The grief I get...

11:20 am, January 11, 2006

 
Blogger Wyndham said...

Dove...r?

12:41 pm, January 11, 2006

 
Blogger Merkin said...

That was my first choice, but then I found "Northern Dove" in Papua New Guinea, and it HAD to be included.

I also missed Budgerygar (New South Wales, Australia) and Owl-erton in Yorkshire. Must try harder, Merkin.

1:56 pm, January 11, 2006

 
Blogger Wyndham said...

There's Flamingo Bay - as in the song - but I have no idea if it's a real place.

2:44 pm, January 11, 2006

 

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