Random musings from the front line (well, more like the support trench, or perhaps the castle 10 miles away, supping Chateau Lafite with the General Staff) in the battle for curiosity, inertia, grammar and a Dachshund called Colin.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

A Leo in London - HEAR ME ROAR

They don't make hairstyles like that anymore...It's late on Sunday night. I've just taken the slow train from London Waterloo to the sunny South Coast, with my head spinning and my speech slurred. You could say I've just been on what-we-used-to-call a "Leo" (as in Sayer - "All Dayer"). My mood on the journey back was worsened by the workshy arseholes at the RMT union deciding to go on strike from 1830 because someone asked them to do some work for a change, but bettered by a couple of hilarious Ricky Gervais podcasts that I listened to in the absence of a newspaper to read (lucky really - I would have struggled to focus).

But it wasn't all a weekend of alcoholic debauchery and romantic dinners in the metropolis - I was doing some serious research as to what, in my occasionally humble opinion, are the top 3 pubs in London. As a non-native, but regular social visitor to our nation's capital, I am fully aware that my overall pubbing experience is limited compared to a born-and-bred Cockney sparrow, but the wonderful thing about my opinions are that they frequently coincide with cold hard fact. Lucky me. So here they are - Merkin's top 3 London pubs - the official list:

  1. The Grenadier, Knightsbridge. Almost impossible to find, used to be the Duke of Wellington's officer's mess. Very old, very haunted, fantastic food and beer. The best Bloody Mary in England. 9.5/10 (as I didn't see the ghost).
  2. The Prince of Wales, Clapham Old Town. A cross between a junk shop and the staff canteen for everyone in Clapham who isn't a Ben Sherman-wearing spikey-haired coke-addict merchant banker. The "POW" has good beer, a great atmosphere, and is an all round eccentric but friendly place. 9/10.
  3. The White Horse, Parson's Green. The "Sloaney Pony" - unofficial HQ of the non-pretentious regiment of the "we don't give a shit about living south of the river you ponce" brigade. Superb outside in the summer, and a perfect layout and arrangement inside all year round. 8/10.

His younger brother looked on with shock. 'I thought this was supposed to be VIRTUAL reality', he whimpered. Which brings me on to the game which one does when drunk, and when one's little brother is close enough to be able to inflict pain. Yes, it's the quickly-moving-knife-between-the-fingers game. I'm shit at this game in real life, because I'm completely malcoordinated, and having just played the online version (click the lovely image to play) I realise I'm shit at that as well. Well done me. It's a good game though!

And if that isn't enough excitement for you - check out this amazing (and I mean mind-blowingly amazing) amateur video of Russians jumping across buildings. It's hosted on Google Video, so there's no file to download, it streams in a webpage. (I was sent there by Brock).

5 Rants & Replies:

Blogger patroclus said...

Oh dear lord - the Sloaney Pony? Really?

Merkin, you need help. Allow me to show you around the grotty pubs of Camden and Chalk Farm sometime. Because you're worth it.

7:20 am, January 09, 2006

Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

Thanks for the reminder about the The Grenadier - I haven't been there in centuries...

And what can I say about the Russian wall crawlers except: Gosh!

7:36 pm, January 09, 2006

Blogger WordWhiz said...


Does Barry know what you're doing now??

4:13 am, January 10, 2006

Blogger Merkin said...

Patroclus - why? What? I LIKE the Sloaney Pony. They do good beer there as well, which is a rarity in the Oz-infested lagertastic area nearby.

IdV - I'm guessing you're a personal friend of the ghost though.

WW - Barry Manilow would be proud - I'm namechecking his contemporary for him! He's just jealous that he doesn't have any slang named after him since they got rid of Concorde.

10:44 am, January 10, 2006

Blogger patroclus said...

Ah yes, sorry about that outburst M. It's just that the Sloaney Pony is far too jam-packed with former schoolfellows of mine for my liking.

Carry on.

12:53 pm, January 10, 2006


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