Random musings from the front line (well, more like the support trench, or perhaps the castle 10 miles away, supping Chateau Lafite with the General Staff) in the battle for curiosity, inertia, grammar and a Dachshund called Colin.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Gingervitis Strikes

Millions afflicted by Gingervitis

Gingervitis is a serious hereditary disease caused by a recessive gene. It can lay dormant for years and two perfectly healthy parents can have Ginger Babies. Gingervitis affects millions of people world wide. The symptoms of gingervitis include: Red hair, pale skin, and freckles, a “Soulless” feeling. This International Gingervitis Foundation is dedicated to awareness about the red headed defect.

1) What is Gingervitis?
Gingervitis is a serious hereditary disease caused by a recessive gene. It can lay dormant for years and two perfectly healthy parents can have Ginger Babies. Gingervitis affects millions of people world wide. The symptoms of gingervitis include: Red hair, pale skin, and freckles, a “Soulless” feeling. Some Ginger Kids may show symptoms such as violence and depression. Although Gingervitis is not a life threatening disease it can be very serious. There is currently no known cure and very little treatment for Gingervitis.

2) Is Gingervitis contagious?
No, Ginger Kids are born with Gingervitis. It is hereditary and cannot be contracted in any other way.

3) Are Ginger Kids dangerous?
Although some Ginger Kids may be dangerous, many others are not. Ginger Kids do have a genetic predisposition towards anger and depression, but this is caused by there appearance and often times amplified by taunting and harassment. Contrary to popular belief, many Ginger Kids live healthy, happy lives.

4) Do Ginger Kids have Souls?
Unfortunately no, Ginger Kids are born without souls. A common misconception is that you need a soul to survive. This is completely false. Ginger Kids are people just like everyone else, even if they don’t have souls. Many Ginger Kids live happy, healthy, productive lives devoid of any sort of soul.

5) If a Ginger Kid bites me what should I do?
If you have been bitten by a Ginger Kid immediately wash the wound with soap and water. If you have alcohol or peroxide apply it to the wound